Funny DND Stories

Iscandor Karon

Iscandor Karon

"I aim to be like the ocean."
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Hello! Please feel free to share your funny DND stories like I am about to do below. I love DND and would very much enjoy hearing them.

Anyway, this is what happened yesterday, when my friend came over. We decided I would be the PC in our two player game and he would be the DM, so I filled out a character sheet. 6/8/10/12/15/16, I believe were the totals so I chose Rogue and became a Gnome to make my int ten (up from 8). So, Arishi (My character) started in a tavern and the bartender came over to tell him some shady man was looking for him, so he looked around and spotted a guy in a suspicious cloak and walked over. However, before he could meet with the "client," a duergar woman came up and offered a job. Arishi considered it and told her he would check back if there was nothing better in a probably highly butchered southern accent, then essentially got told to go away by the guy he was told about. It turns out, the bartender had misgendered his client and she was in fact the woman who had been previously talking to him. Luckily, she had said she would be back in a day so he met with her the day after and took the job. Along the way, he found a guy who he promised money for guiding him through the alleyways. This man helped him track the hit victim, and Arishi took all of the gold on him and a note for a shipment of drugs along with a password. Arishi memorized the password and details of the shipment's movements and stole the two pounds of Carragh with a nice little persuasion roll. (I think that's a good way to pronounce it) He then went to a black market where this stuff is sold, and made a tidy 110 pieces of gold doing business with a dealer of the same drug.

If I keep going, this post is going to be really long, so part 1 will be in this post and if anyone is interested I'll tell the rest.

By the way, meant to post with Gerblin here lol
 
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Allow me to share the epic tale of my good friend and great hero, who never takes anything seriously: Steve the Barbarian.

I DMed the adventure 'Dragon of Icespire Peak' several years ago with a group of online friends, who have sadly gone their separate ways since. Among the players was the unforgettable character Steve - the barbarian who liked to try my patience and who never once raged. He danced upon enemy's tables and vaulted over unfortunate horses, and I had to figure out what the rules said about that.

That friend has always had a strange sense of humor, and so all of us at the digital table didn't blink when he asked to play as a half-orc in a shark costume. (In the flavor of some sort of curse, he argued.) To try to shift the adventure to the interests of the players, I ended up giving some orc npcs a California surfer bro accent (thusly the brorcs were born). True to his character(ish)?, Steve made friends with them and ultimately became their surfer king. Sadly, he was also bitten by a wererat and made his constitution roll poorly.

And so, Steve the shark-cursed king of the brorcs became Steve the were-rat, who never once raged. But his legend lives on.

I suppose I should also include our good-aligned warlock who always made evil-sounding choices about things. I tried to trick him into joining the evil Zhentarim faction pretending to be good Harpers by tempting him with an artifact, but he ended up completely forgetting his quest and destroying the artifact. He also was very certain he should destroy a high cleric of the storm god Talos with a lightning spell, despite some hints to the opposite. Good times...

Iscandor Karon
 
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Lol, constitution is a fun little stat. Luckily I have not yet been beset upon by were-rats. You still play? I always wished I could play virt table with friends

Also, Part 2 because this seems cool and I wanna keep it active.

Some guys from one of the larger gangs approached Arishi and told him to plant a poison gas bomb in the base of a gang called the streetwalkers. With a 25 on stealth, he hid it behind a pillar. They all died except for the duergar woman who initially hired him who chased him and I got all nine of the guards to fight for me so I escaped and went to a shop that sold abominations made of flesh and I bought a strong monster and it killed her and that’s where we are rn. Actually, I also got a discount after the fact and looted the duergar’s body.
 
Sounds like you had some real shenanigans there!

Sadly, no I haven't played the tabletop in some time. Had a license for Fantasy Grounds back then, which I let expire when our group stopped playing. Then I browsed a few DnD Discord channels for a while, but they struck me as really impersonal and just not fun. I started this RP writing as a way to engage in a similar style of storytelling, actually :)
 
Ranvena said:
Sounds like you had some real shenanigans there!

Sadly, no I haven't played the tabletop in some time. Had a license for Fantasy Grounds back then, which I let expire when our group stopped playing. Then I browsed a few DnD Discord channels for a while, but they struck me as really impersonal and just not fun. I started this RP writing as a way to engage in a similar style of storytelling, actually :)
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I've seen a ton of the names on ur about in threads! Are you busy, or could we plan an rp together?
 
Sure! Is there a particular character you want to RP with? What are you looking for in terms of a story/genre?
 
My first & only DnD game(i'll play again some day dw) was a pirate themed one shot via discord that was full of goofy moments.

First scene: Whole party is being sentenced in a courthouse for all sorts of things. Judge rules the death sentence, but the governor pardons us last second in exchange for becoming disposable henchmen to find his runaway daughter.

First thing we do is fail several seduction attempts versus an orcish captain. In part due to our pyromancer booty bumping our druid out of the way to "show 'em how it's done" lol(my rogue is just watching this unfold from a nearby bar). This later leads to the pyromancer trying to scare off the now aggressive orc with spells- ACCIDENTLY BURNING HIM TO A CRISP- and my char having to rescue him from the orc's bodyguards who are now holding him at gunpoint(flintlocks).

fun fact, we didn't have to kill the bodyguards 'cause my rogue didn't flunk their intimidation\persuasion. One of the bodyguards, a drow rogue, later became a PC played by another guy that joined us.


Other highlights include:
  • The (several)times where both I and the pyromancer have claimed to be the "captain",
  • The time we convinced a dwarf to let us captain his warship because he was just "so damn old",
  • The time I stabbed a skeleton pirate who was really just insulted that I was fighting him as if he had flesh,
  • The time I punched the pyromancer in front of a second party of PCs to somehow earn his and the other party's respect,
  • The time I singlehandedly blew up a warship,
  • The time we adopted a dragonborn who wasn't really a dragonborn but actually a cursed something,
  • The many homosexual encounters of various party members thanks to ALL OF US having high charisma,
  • And the time we were convinced that the governor's daughter was going to die because we had bad luck and decided to continue RP among ourselves while the DM was afk
 
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